May42008
The Truth About Cancer
My father and I just stayed up too late watching this fabulous PBS documentary: The Truth About Cancer. It was extra touching for us as it was centered around Boston and featured and followed my mom’s oncologist, Dr. David Ryan, and one of his patients with pancreatic cancer. I was particularly touched by the woman’s thoughts on the societal pressure to beat cancer, and how that can be difficult to endure when your diagnosis is terminal. She also eloquently addressed how unfair it is that those that die from cancer aren’t celebrated as survivors, even though they desperately wanted to beat their illness just like everyone else. I know this was something my mom struggled with a bit - and it felt empowering to see it tackled.
The film also follows patients with lung cancer, leukemia and breast cancer. I can not recommend it enough, and was really proud of my mom’s doctor through the entire program, especially now that I am somewhat removed from the process of treating this disease. Watching this brought me directly back to so many moments in my mom’s journey. Aside from just seeing the hallways of her hospital, it completely grasped the emotional torment of it all - the desire for survival, the unfairness of the diagnosis, the constant bad news and physical deterioration, the dread of never knowing what decision is best. This was the first thing I’ve seen to truly capture the journey of metastatic cancer, especially pancreatic. There were some moments that were a little tough to watch, so it might not be for everyone.
It’s May 4th, and it’s been 14 months, to the day, since my mom died. Today my dad and I took a dancing lesson, had dinner with family and visited my mom’s grave, where the daffodils are about to sprout around her granite stone. If there is one truth I have learned and know to be true about the experience of losing a loved one to cancer, it is that life continues and that it will be okay. It won’t always be easy, but it will be okay.