Hi guys.
Being a parent is hard. It is a million times harder than the hardest thing you’ve ever done. You will doubt every decision, every choice, every opinion. You will live in fear you’re screwing up your kid with every move you make. You will not be perfect. You will fail. You will fight with your partner and snap at them. You will get angry over stupid things, like always having to pick up cereal and bananas off the floor. You will cry in the bathroom for hours at a time, for reasons that remain foggy. You will never sleep, even when you’re sleeping.
Being a parent is amazing. You will learn to use parts of your brain and guts and soul that never had to work before. You will love harder than ever before. You will learn to trust your instincts and choices and settle into yourself. You will make peace with not being perfect. You will respect and admire your partner in new ways. You will eat cereal and bananas off the floor. You will cry in public when you talk about your child, or while watching them do something as simple as clap their hands. You will never sleep, because being with your kid brings you so much joy you wish you could be awake for every second of their life.
I love Eleanor fiercely. I think she is a genius, a bright light, a perfect creature whose flaws I look forward to learning and loving. I could gush for paragraphs about how wonderful life is with her in it. But really it’s pretty simple: she kicks ass and there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t feel thankful for her.
Happy first birthday, Pip.
