lucidwalls asked: Hey Kate, I discovered you and your a blog a little while back now, and absolutely fell in love (I tweeted you about it, you probably lost it in your millions of fangirl's tweets) the thing is, I need help, I feel a little lost and stuck, as if I'm going through life as everyone else wants me to and I want to do something different but I'm scared, can you help? You're wise and amazing and lovely and I need someone like you to give me an alternative perspective! love, Bryony, Birmingham, England
Thank you for such a sweet note. Let me just say that I think everyone in the world has felt as you do. I know I have many, many times in my life. Don’t be too hard on yourself about it. Just recognizing you feel a bit lost and want to try something different is amazing! Maybe you’re not scared, maybe you’re just taking your time to figure out what that next step is. Be nice to yourself, above all else. None of this is easy.
I’ve done improv comedy for a long, long time now. Often I get stuck in a horrifying rut. I feel awful after shows and convince myself that my performing is terrible and ruining everything. This puts me in my head, so then I end up being too scared to do anything in the show, terrified I’ll just ruin it with my awful-ness. I’ve learned that in order to move myself through this rut, I have to challenge myself to take risks on stage. Often they are very little, tiny things - things only I’d know I’m doing. It always feels really scary. Often I fail at what I’m trying to do. But just getting out there and forcing myself to not think and just do something new ends up feeling amazing. And slowly, I moved myself out of the rut.
I guess my terribly articulated point is this: it’s okay to be scared. This stuff is scary. You don’t need to make sweeping, huge life changes all at once (though if you want to, go for it!). You can go as slowly as you need. When you’re ready, just do one teeny tiny small thing to move yourself in the direction you want to go. Slowly but surely, you will get there, and will probably feel happier and more authentically you than before. And I bet the people in your life will love you through all of it. Those that don’t weren’t worth your time in the first place.
I don’t know if this even makes sense. But I’m glad you reached out. xo